Step One – The Goal – Without condemning, complaining or criticizing, tell your husband why it is important to you that your marriage have a greater element of romance. Explain that romance is like a key that opens a woman’s heart and fulfills her need for emotional intimacy. Describe what romance looks, feels, sounds and smells like. Give your husband a target, a challenge. Men want to pursue and enjoy reaching a goal.
Step Two – The Reward – Share with your husband why it is in his interest to step up the level of romance in the marriage. The truth is that while you are thinking of romance as emotional intimacy, your husband is thinking of sensual pleasure. One viewpoint is not better than the other, but they are two sides to the same coin. Tell him how romance increases the emotional connection that you feel and that leads to greater confidence in the relationship – in him. You want to change – increase the amount of romance – the marriage because it will better fulfill a need that you have (and should have fulfilled). It is no different for your husband. He will change the relationship – increase the amount of romance – when it fulfills a need that he may have.
Step Three – No plan, no action! Men are, by their very nature tool users. Some use computers, others use power saws, the rest something in between. While there is no scientific research to prove this, the reason men are tool users is because their brains leak. Ask your husband to bring home three things from the store and you are likely to get just about anything besides the items requested. Same goes for the romance, your husband is going to need a little assistance to keep him on track for the first few months. There are online marriage resources designed to give your husband romantic ideas, tips and suggestions. The full featured sites even provide a personalized reminder service so that he never forgets another anniversary, birthday or special occasion. If you do a Google or Bing search for “Romantic Outsourcing” you can see what is available to your husband.
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