I often hear from people who are separated and trying to save their marriages. One recurring theme that often comes up is dating your spouse while you are separated. Many people intuitively know that this can be an important part of the process. After all, if you can regularly date your spouse again and this goes well, that’s part of rebuilding your marriage and showing your spouse that the two of you can have fun, connect again, and still have a spark on which you can and want to rebuild.
But, many couples aren’t quite sure about how to approach this. I’m often asked for insights on how to best handle dating while you’re technically in a trial separation. I recently heard from a wife who asked the questions that most people want to know. She said, in part: “are there any guidelines about dating my husband while we’re separated? Are you supposed to plan the dates or just let them happen? Can I ask him out or do I have to wait until he asks me? Are there any topics that are off limits? I know that when I’m with my husband I’m going to want to ask him if he’s come to a decision or has any opinions about the chances of us getting back together. Is it a good idea to have sex on these dates or should I keep things strictly platonic in order to lure him back? What is the best way for me to handle this?”
I will try to cover these concerns and offer some tips on successfully dating your spouse during a trial separation in the following article.If You Can, Agree On The Specifics Of The Dating Before The Separation Actually Takes Place: The optimal way to approach this is to agree with your spouse on how this is going to go before one of you actually leaves the home. So many couples leave this open ended and when they do, it’s my experience that things are less likely to go well.
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